Birth Plans: What to Include, What to Let Go, and How to Actually Use One
If you've started Googling birth plans, you've probably already encountered two very different opinions about them.
The first camp says a birth plan is essential — a carefully crafted document that ensures your wishes are respected and your birth goes the way you want.
The second camp says birth plans are pointless — that birth is unpredictable and having a plan just sets you up for disappointment.
Here's where I land after supporting countless families through labor: both of those takes miss the point entirely.
A birth plan, done well, isn't about controlling your birth. It's about knowing yourself — and communicating that clearly to the people who will be in the room with you.
What a Birth Plan Actually Is
Think of a birth plan less like a script and more like a letter of introduction. It says: "Here's who I am. Here's what I value. Here's how I'd like to be supported."
It's a one-page document — ideally no longer — that gives your care team a snapshot of your preferences before labor gets too intense for you to articulate them out loud. A good nurse or provider will read it before you're admitted and refer back to it throughout your care.
The magic of a well-written birth plan isn't that it makes labor go a certain way. It's that it makes you feel more prepared — and that psychological readiness genuinely matters.
What to Include
1. Your basic info and support team Your name, your provider, your due date. Who is in the room — partner, doula, family, or just you and your provider. Who is not in the room, and under what circumstances.
2. Your environment preferences Lighting (dim? bright?), music or silence, how many people you want present during exams, whether you'd like to be able to move freely.
3. Pain management preferences Be specific but flexible here. "I'd like to try unmedicated labor but I'm open to an epidural if I ask for one" is far more useful than either "no epidural, no matter what" or leaving it blank. Include things like: laboring in water if available, counter-pressure, the ability to move around freely, your honest feelings about an epidural.
4. Labor support preferences Would you like to be coached through pushing or follow your body's cues? Do you want a mirror? Do you want your doula to take the lead on communication with your care team, or do you prefer to speak for yourself?
5. Immediate postpartum This is the section most people forget — and it might be the most important. Include:
Skin-to-skin contact immediately after birth
Delayed cord clamping (and for how long)
Who cuts the cord
Your infant feeding plan (breastfeeding, formula, or combination)
Newborn procedures — do you want them done in the room with you or after your first hour together?
Visitors in the first hours
6. If things don't go as planned This is the section that separates a thoughtful birth plan from a wishful one. Write a short note about what matters most to you if a C-section becomes necessary, if you need to transfer from a birth center to a hospital, or if your baby needs immediate medical attention. You can't plan for everything — but you can let your team know what still matters to you even when the plan changes.
What to Leave Out
Don't include things that aren't decisions you get to make. Your birth plan is not the place to write "I don't want a C-section" or "I don't want an IV" — those are medical decisions that depend entirely on what's happening in the moment. Writing them in your plan can actually create friction with your care team.
Don't make it too long. A birth plan that's four pages is a birth plan that won't get read. One page, clean formatting, brief bullet points. If a tired nurse has three patients, your one-page document will be read. Your four-page manifesto will not.
Don't write it in a way that sounds like you don't trust your care team. The tone matters. "I would love the opportunity to try laboring without medication" reads very differently than "I refuse all pain medication under any circumstances." Flexible, collaborative language gets you further.
How to Actually Use It
Writing the birth plan is only half of it. Here's how to make sure it does its job:
Share it before the day. Give a copy to your OB or midwife at your last prenatal appointment. Give one to your doula. Put a copy in your hospital bag.
Walk your partner and doula through it out loud. Don't just hand them the paper. Talk about what matters most to you and why. When you can't speak for yourself in the middle of a contraction, the people next to you need to already know your heart.
Introduce it early at the hospital. When you check in, hand the nurse your birth plan with a warm smile and say, "I have a one-page document — is it okay if I add it to my chart?" That tone sets the relationship on the right foot.
Hold it loosely. Know what's on it so well that you don't need to look at it. And be ready for it to evolve — because birth often does.
A Note on Birth Preferences vs. Birth Plans
I actually prefer the term birth preferences to birth plan — and I use that language with all of my clients at Eden & Embrace. It's a small shift in words but a meaningful shift in mindset. Preferences can flex. A plan implies rigidity. And flexibility, in birth, is one of your greatest strengths.
Working With a Doula to Create Your Birth Preferences
One of the most valuable things a prenatal visit with a doula offers is a guided conversation about your birth preferences — not just filling out a template, but actually thinking through what matters most to you and why.
I work with families in Morgantown and throughout West Virginia, as well as families in the DMV area, to create birth preferences documents that genuinely reflect their values. Every package includes at least one prenatal session dedicated to exactly this.
If you'd like a free birth preferences template or want to talk through what yours might look like, I'd love to connect.
📩 https://www.edenandembrace.com/contact
Hold your preferences close. Hold your plan loosely. Trust your body.